I’ve at a point where i have decided to be present and focus on the things that are meaningful to me and make a difference in my life. I’m on a journey of self-Improvement and here’s what I’ve learnt so far.
- I can’t control Everything
There are situations in life that none of us are able to control. Personally, I’ve had a ladder-achievement type of life in my mind. Here’s an example; Graduate College, get a well-paying job, get married, buy a house and have 4 kids by the time I am this age. This was me trying to control everything including a future I am uncertain of instead of living in the present moment.
I attached my happiness and fulfillment to material possessions. We should have goals and I’d like to state that whether the above goals might be realistic but the challenge is, I can’t control most of the things on that list and that’s okay. What I should be focusing on is my health both physical and mental, spiritual growth, career growth/self-improvement, spending time with my family and friends and saving. These little steps provide discipline, happiness, Growth and peace of mind. These are what I can control.
2. Take a break
I’ve been hearing this a lot “take time off to rest or your body will do it for you.” This statement made me want to book a trip to the Maldives- okay that’s a bit over budget but you get the point. I wanted to take a few days off and walk by the shore of Lake Victoria, book an Airbnb for two days and just get away from the city.
For most, the packed schedule begins right after college. Its work, more school, events. It’s always this or that and before you know it, 31 days have gone and another 30 are following its lead. The body, mind and soul need rest, there has to be time at-least twice or thrice every month when you shut the laptop down and go to a forest or a village or lock yourself in the house and rest!
3. My role is complete.
I was the clinger (Google’s definition is limited to crush but I mean everything in general). I’ve learnt that the earlier you make the choice to move on when your role is done, the better for yourself and everyone around you. I tried to glue friendships that were clearly broken beyond repair, tried to stay at jobs when it was clearly time to search for other opportunities, I watched Kyle XY 20 times and even though it was cancelled, I Wrote to ABC and expressed my heartbreak for the show’s cancellation (mind you, this show was cancelled about 10 years ago). I tried to help everyone that I could when I didn’t have the means to. I was it, the typical clinger. Then I said no, somethings have to change.
I went back and started analyzing why I was making certain decisions and whether it was from the goodness of my heart, or for approval or recognition. I was reaching my limit and losing my authenticity. I made changes and started walking away, it’s been the biggest turning point of my journey and it has taken a lot of courage but I am intentionally learning to identify when my role is complete in different situations and understanding that it is time to move on.
4. Make time for the people you love.
The happiest time of the year for me is being able to visit my grandmother. She lives in Kitgum, a district in Northern Uganda. Our family made it a habit to travel there at the end of the year. My grandma carried me on her lap until I was about 24 years, my favorite reaction is when I tell her I love her, whether in person or on the phone. Once a year is nowhere near enough, time flies so fast. Meet with your friends, family and go for that coffee date. The easiest way I can put it is that time flies, my grandma is 79 years old.
Spend as much time as you can with people you love and making memories. Take photos and if possible, keep a photo journal.
5. Forgive yourself and everyone else.
I do not know the weight of hurt that you carry, all I do know is that none of us have a time machine. None of us can go back in time and bring back our loved ones that left us, we can’t go back and bring the ones who walked away from our lives. Someone said on a show “Forgive your young parent who walked away from you, they didn’t know what they were doing?” This statement almost brought me to tears because we all carry so much, most individual has that heavy baggage they carry everywhere, to their workplaces, homes, churches. Let that baggage go. Easier said than done, but take the necessary steps to heal. Move forward.
There’s a song by the script “hurt people, hurt people” and the level of truth is 5 on a scale of 5. Learn to heal, learn to forgive and learn to be present.
That’s it from me. If there’s any lesson that you would like to share that you’ve learnt on your life-walk, contact me on the details below.
LET YOUR WEEK SHINE BRIGHT!
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